Monday, July 17, 2006

DC: Code Orange Today



Not a terrorist alert. Even Saudis wouldn't go out in this heat. No, this code orange just means old people and children are at risk of dying from heat and air pollution, thanks to our own corporate petro-terrorists.

NOAA warns:

HOT AND HUMID CONDITIONS ARE LIKELY TODAY...WITH MAX TEMPERATURES FORECAST TO REACH NEAR 100 DEGREES. COMBINED WITH A HUMID AIRMASS..THE HEAT INDEX WILL LIKELY REACH NEAR 105 DEGREES. HOT AND HUMID CONDITIONS WILL BE POSSIBLE AGAIN ON TUESDAY. A HEAT ADVISORY MEANS THAT A PERIOD OF HOT TEMPERATURES IS EXPECTED. THE COMBINATION OF HOT TEMPERATURES AND HIGH HUMIDITY WILL COMBINE TO CREATE A SITUATION IN WHICH HEAT ILLNESSES ARE POSSIBLE. DRINK PLENTY OF FLUIDS...STAY IN AN AIR-CONDITIONED ROOM...STAY OUT OF THE SUN...AND CHECK UP ON RELATIVES AND NEIGHBORS.

Note that tonight's overnight low is forecast for 79. And I saw five people wearing sweaters this morning on my commute. WTF?

This heat should do wonders for the crime emergency in our fair city. Don't worry, Chief Wiggum has the situation in hand.

All I have to say is praise Allah for delivering us triple action Gold Bond medicated powder. In the meantime, I have four bags of frozen peas stuffed down my shorts. That's how you spell relief.

4 Comments:

At 12:49 PM, Blogger Michael said...

Surgeon General's warning: Periods of intense ballsack sweating can lead to water loss of 16 oz. per hour. Store balls in a cool air conditioned room, or beside cool wet sacks of peas.

 
At 4:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

High of 80, low of 52 with 36% humidity in Corvallis (Home of the 2006 NCAA baseball national champions).

Try to stay cool.

 
At 4:31 AM, Anonymous Ben said...

115 in Southern California, with soot from the fires adding an extra smokey flavor to the already impossible air.

 
At 5:49 AM, Anonymous carlo.99 said...

There was a comment I saw in another blog from a guy who said that people are fooled into thinking that the greenhouse effect comes from human wastes particularly air pollution. Well in this smouldering heat I challenge him to go get a stroll at your nearest parking areas and see if this is not the effect of human pollution.

 

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